If Only
by MyGoldenGlow
Summary: He didn’t speak to anyone; just watched, with something like sorrow in his eyes. Read and Review please!
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first fanfic, so no flames please! But I don't mind constructive criticism (key word being constructive!:) ) sorry in advance for any mistakes!  
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**Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who (I don't even have the DVDs :( oh well)**

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The man stood unnoticed among the crowds of people. The girl next to him with the pink and blue hair, arms wrapped around a teenage boy wearing only black was drawing similar amounts of attention. In this busy place no one paid any attention to "ordinary" people.

The crowd also ignored the small girl whose face was pressed against the glass. She was nothing special, not so different from the thousands of other small girls who pressed their faces against the glass, looking at the objects inside. She wore jeans and a shirt, with her hair pulled into a sloppy ponytail, and her eyes scouring the artifacts, soaking up the picture of them perfectly, though he didn't know why.

No one noticed the man. But the man noticed the girl. He noticed nothing but the girl, his eyes fixed on her, absorbing every detail, much like she was doing to the arrow heads. He didn't speak to her, or to anyone; just watched, with something like sorrow in his eyes; and a touch of happiness. He looked just like everyone else who'd ever lived through pain and suffering. He looked like a human who'd lost everything and survived.

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** Should I continue it? **

** if it isn't clear, the man is the Doctor, and the girl he's looking at is a companion that he lost (I know which companion _I_ pictured, but what about you?) **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I meant to update last week but I got sidetracked - oops! **

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Doctor Who. If I did...I'd be really really rich. **

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She was so innocent. That child in front of him knew nothing of the hardships of life, the pain she would go through, the people who would die. How could she, that small, naïve little girl, even fathom the horrors that she would see when she grew. Her juvenile mind, only thinking of school and friends, and what games she would play later on, would instead be filled with running for her life, fear, and a knowledge of evil. And all because of one man.

His self-loathing was interrupted by a sweet voice inquiring, "Excuse me, sir?"

He blinked and looked down. Lost in his thoughts, he hadn't noticed the girl leave her spot. Large eyes, filled half with fear, half with determination, stared up at him. As their eyes met, she paused, as if at a loss for words. Then, shaking herself, she continued,

"Uhm…do you have the time?"

She was so small, trying to be a grown up. She was standing up as tall as she could, but he could still see the top of her head easily. Such a child – the greatest danger _she_ had to face was asking a stranger for the time.

"Sir?" she lost what semblance of confidence she had had and her voice was now wavering.

He jerked his mind back to the present, "Sorry, it's…it's twelve thirty five."

"Oh, right, thanks then," she turned and hurried off, almost walking into a woman carrying a large shopping bag from the store across the way. She jumped back, muttered an apology, and was gone. He experienced déjà vu, and both of his hearts broke.

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** Please Review! **

**Should I keep going? **


	3. Chapter 3

**Last Part! (i think) I finally had the time to type it up. yay!  
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**Disclaimer: I don't own this - at all**

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He made his way slowly back to his "home". Opening the door he paused, struggling to force his face into a smile – but he couldn't quite manage it.

She looked up from the book she was reading – some medical textbook from a planet ten million miles away from her home. He wasn't sure if she was actually interested in it, or if she was just reading it for the sake of reading it.

"You OK?" she asked him softly, her eyes searching his face for some sign of what was wrong.

He said nothing – his voice would give his emotions away. He merely nodded one, hoping that because she was just a novice, she wouldn't be able to tell the difference between this forced half smile and the real thing. Unfortunately, she was better than he gave her credit for. She stood up, walked around behind him, and gave him a gentle hug. Her hugs were different from her hugs. Not worse, or bad, but different. He let his arms automatically wrap around her and hug her back.

"She would know. If she were here, she'd know just what to say," she whispered softly, "I'm just a novice – can't be helped. But I want to know the right thing to say. I want to make it better." She sounded so sad, so desperate to help him.

His arms pulled her tighter, holding her to him as if trying to protect her from the horrors he had seen. Maybe, he thought, if he just held her tighter, she wouldn't slip away. Maybe, if he held her closer, he could protect her better. True, she wasn't the same – but no one could be the same. Yet here she was, easing his hurt and making him realize that there were other companions out there – ones who were ready to prove that they could hold their own too. He couldn't hold on to the past forever – isn't that what he wanted for her? He wanted her to live a fantastic life. She would want the same for him. So he put her away, in a special spot meant just for the people he loved, and moved on. Because he had her, the one wrapping her arms around a man who wanted someone else, the one who knew she wasn't who he wanted but she stuck around anyway. The one who wanted nothing better than to _be_ someone else, just to make him happy. And he didn't want her to change for him. She was different, but he could grow to love her. Love her like he loved all his companions.

He buried his face in her hair, closing his eyes. He couldn't protect her forever – but damn if he wasn't going to try.

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**Review! I'm sorry if it's confusing with the "she" and "her" referring to two different people. But I didn't want to use actual names. I tried to make it clear - let me know!  
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